entitlement

on saturday, my dad's church had their annual picnic and he was in the dunk tank! hahaha. i haven't talked to him since, but he told me my mom had first dibs on trying to dunk him. lol.

i texted my dad earlier this week with this msg:
"Dad, as i grow older (and hopefully wiser!), i am realizing that my anger and sadness at God comes from my own misunderstanding of who He is."

my dad replied back:
"Yea, the problem is within us and we often project that to God. Yesterday i was reading into Paul's fear during his evangelistic preaching to the Corinthians (1 Cor 2:3). I thought he feared that God would not come through! In fact, Paul feared that people will base their faith on him and not on God."

he texts further:
"Indeed, it is mysterious. As we grow in the Spirit, he reveals more things to us. Not only that, Jesus sanctified us each step of the way until we are fully like him, blameless."

if only i was so in sync with God-that instead of getting mad at Him and acting entitled towards Him-i would be selfless, humble and fearful of God like Paul...such fear that i'd be trembling!

too often i forget that God is the SOVEREIGN one, like what i recently heard from a north point podcast. i am guilty of demanding answers from Jesus, acting as though He even owed me anything...all of this shameful behavior comes from not understanding who He is and misinterpreting His silence or actions (or lack thereof) when all He really wants is for me to love Him and share His great love with others.

*sigh*! i still have so much to grow in my walk with Him. i hope and pray that i continue to grow in the Spirit, so that i will gain wisdom and throw all selfishness to the wayside....

i've got so much more learning and growing to do...it's like the more i dig, the more i find that i've got plenty of issues to work on.

-p