i praise You, Lord!

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg, ive been MIA for the last 3 months and it feels soooooo good to be back!!!!!!!!! i miss everyone so much! i'm sorry if i haven't been the most responsive or good friend or spouse, but thanks for ur patience. i'm so happy to have my life back! thank you to everyone for putting up with me, but most of all i just want to thank johan because he really cooked, cleaned, and spent many lonely nites in our bedroom while my friends and i studied in the living room. you are the best hunnie! funnie, we live together this whole entire time, but i finally feel like we can connect and bond now that i'm done with the bar. thanks hun for everything and i can't wait to start spending time with you again! =)



the second time i studied for the bar was A LOT harder than the first time. i studied hard the first time, don't get me wrong, but the second time i studied SMARTER. plus i took a whole month off of work, which i didnt do the first time. i hope it pays off. i walked out of the test feeling better than i did the first time, but i dont know if it will be enuff. either way, im glad that me and my friends survived it and now we can return to having our own lives until october when we find out the results. thank God for allowing me to get thru it again!

the first day of the exam, the Holy Spirit was really speaking to me. the whole day the song that came into my mind was the old hymnal, "it is well." man, He was truly convicting my heart that all will be well! =)

It is Well with My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

* Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

then the second day, i had aaron niequest's song "change" in my head. the chorus goes like this:

"i have been blessed – now i want to be a blessing
i have been loved – now i want to bring love
i’ve been invited – i want to share the invitation
i have been changed – to bring change,
to bring change"

WOW. i love the lyrics! i HAVE been blessed--now i want to be a blessing Lord to others!

on the second day of the bar, i read my devotion in the morning and guess wat it said: "We must never put our dreams of success as God's purpose for us: His purpose may be exactly the opposite." i felt bad because all this time i was praying and asking others to pray for success for this exam, but wat i should have been doing was ask people to pray that i would just rely on God during this tuff time in life and not pray for worldly success. i felt guilty...because God's purpose for me is to depend on Him and not to pass some test.

oswald chambers says, "God is not working toward a particular finish; His end is the process--that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea."

Lord, teach me to have eyes only for You. that i would not care about worldly success and money and no more goals. help me focus entirely on the fact that You are before me reigning in all of your glory! may i kneel in reverence and see nothing else except that You have always been there for me and have loved me. through lonely times, through low times, through high times, may I only have eyes for You, Jesus!

love, p