its all about perspective

well, the weekend came and went! just like that, its sunday nite already and we are resting and getting ready for this upcoming week. this week is going to be a pretty big week:

1) i find out whether i passed the bar or not.
2) i have a gala to attend for work.
3) we are going to matt's bar to try the JUCY LUCY.
4) and we are throwing my sister (and 2 of her friends) a baby shower.

*whew*!!!

ive been saying this to myself to keep things in perspective about the bar:
"i will praise You nonetheless,
i will praise You nonetheless,
if i fail or if i pass,
i will praise You nonetheless."

=D

dont get me wrong ive been worried sick at times wondering if i'll pass or not. wondering how im going to pull myself out of my pool of misery and despair if i dont pass. (yeah im dramatic!) how im going to be so ashamed and how my pride is going to be hurt.

but then i got a phone call from my mom last week about her health problems. how fearful she is of having her life cut short because of her health problems. her tears of sadness at the thought of missing out on watching my brothers grow up. how her health is slowly improving and how thankful she is to be alive and well.

and it wasn't until then that i got a taste of how insignificant the bar is compared to other things in LIFE. things like family and love and health. thats when im really put into my place and humbled by my ego and pride. who cares if i pass or not? sure, its a big test, but its not like i can't retake it?!....but if i lose a family member, that's out of my control! so i realized that if i dont pass, its okay. sure, i'll be disappointed and hurt. but it could be a lot worse. and thats why im trying to put things in perspective...

have you ever gone thru something really tough in life? something you thought you wouldn't survive? and then God opened ur eyes to look at it differently and you felt so ashamed by your reaction from before? thats wat i feel like tonight. i pray that i would stop being so selfish and think more about others. gosh...sometimes i feel so ignorant and self-absorbed! Lord, forgive me and teach me to value more important things in life instead of being obsessed about trivial matters. would you pray for me that i put things into perspective? thanks friends.

-p